'Hello! I want you! Hello! Hello! Hello! Where are you?'

Today was a classic example of a day in my life... it started off with phone-calls at 5 am because I am always the only person awake at that time. (At times I have an irrational dislike of sleep) I can't even tell you what the phone call was about because I'm not sure myself. It was a friend ringing me pretending to be another friend but giving-in to the truth 30 seconds into the call before hanging up. I don't know why he felt the need to ring me for this, but whatever, that was the start to my morning.

I went to work as I usually do and as is usual at my work management was late so my workplace opened late. I love my job 95% of the time just because it is the strangest place filled with the strangest people, I love the staff, but the customers I deal with are many shades of crazy. Now, the day was off to a bad start because we opened late and then because the building I work in is older than time itself it repels technology. So, I spent the first 40 minutes of my day telling the customers that I could not help them with anything they came into me for because none of the computers worked. [Cue lots of verbal abuse]

The technical difficulties eventually passed and everyone left semi-happy. 'Today will be fine, I'll get through it,' are the thoughts stopping me from running out the door screaming ... but wait someone else has beaten me to the screaming. There is now a crazy elderly lady standing in the middle of my workplace screaming at the top of her voice 'Hello! I want you! Hello! Hello! Hello! Where are you?' at one of the other staff members. For once it's not me being pursued by the crazy person so I'm happy.

Later the staff member came up to me recounting how the lady wanted help picking out a bra but didn't know her size, so when she was asked what cup size she was the lady squeezed her chest and said 'this size'.(That was very helpful) We sell bra's but we are not bra fitters so the staff member was then forced to put bras on the lady while the lady shouted about not having left the house in three years and other various random facts about herself. The lady was then served and left happy only to ring the business later and ask for me. She started telling me I had charged her 90.50 for her bra, it then took me 20 minutes to explain to her that she was reading the design code and not the price.

I would like to say that this level of confusion among customers is rare but it's not, I often find myself pointing out where the 'terminal vests' are to customers or listening to how next door it's absolute 'Bethlehem' [instead of bedlam]. I have seen many things at work that I wish I hadn't from people soiling themselves in both the number 1 and 2 manner, to people punching their kids in the face, to very old people stealing.

Life, both inside and outside of work, has really become a blizzard of odd people and happenings.